


alongside my heart

by iamnotbrianmay



Series: Queen Tumblr Prompts [15]
Category: Queen (Band)
Genre: Cemetery, Father Figures, Father-Son Relationship, M/M, Meet the Family, Mentions of Death, Sad with a Happy Ending, nostalgic, supportive boys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-07
Updated: 2020-02-07
Packaged: 2021-02-28 01:40:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,990
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22595686
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iamnotbrianmay/pseuds/iamnotbrianmay
Summary: There is a tenseness in the air that he hadn’t felt before, and Brian decides that maybe John is just as nervous, so he leaves the topic alone for now. He tries and fails miserably to try to calm his nerves, but John’s cryptic answers have him on edge. Maybe John’s dad is terribly ill? Or perhaps he is homophobic, and John will introduce him as just a friend, and he is nervous about being caught in the act by his father.He doesn’t really know what to expect apart from the fact that he wants to be called Arthur and not sir.----Or the one where John takes Brian to meet his dad.
Relationships: John Deacon/Brian May
Series: Queen Tumblr Prompts [15]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1315871
Comments: 2
Kudos: 51





	alongside my heart

Brian jumped into the car without hesitation once John told him that he was going to visit his father and that he wanted Brian to meet him. They had been dating for nearly six months, and it felt like a big step to meet this allusive father of his. He had just met John’s mother a few nights before, and judging by the fact that there were no pictures of John’s father anywhere around the house, Brian had guessed they were divorced. ****

Sex and band practice had gotten in the middle of him asking John what had happened between his parents, and now that he was in a car in the middle of a country road he couldn’t help but think that maybe he should have done that first.

He watched as the trees past by and took in the beautiful scenery as he tried to formulate the correct way to ask the question in his head. He had never really heard anything about John’s father before, and he couldn’t deny that going in blank was a terrible idea. 

“How should I call your dad?" 

For a second John turns to look at him with a quizzical look, "What do you mean?”

“I mean, should I call him sir, or by his name, or is he one of those people that has strict rules about how people should call him?" 

There is a second in which John looks like a deer caught in headlights, then he sighs, "Just by his name will be alright, he hates it when people call him sir. He says it makes him sound old." 

"Do you think he will like me?” Brian starts to fidget with the cuffs of his shirt, nervous about meeting John’s parents for the second time this week. 

John, gives him a sad little smile, “Yeah, I think he will love you." 

There is a tenseness in the air that he hadn’t felt before, and Brian decides that maybe John is just as nervous, so he leaves the topic alone for now. He tries and fails miserably to try to calm his nerves, but John’s cryptic answers have him on edge. Maybe John’s dad is terribly ill? Or perhaps he is homophobic, and John will introduce him as just a friend, and he is nervous about being caught in the act by his father.

He doesn’t really know what to expect apart from the fact that he wants to be called Arthur and not sir. At least he has that, and he won’t make a fool out of himself in that aspect. 

He misses the rest of the ride as his brain makes up a thousand different scenarios of how things will transpire with John’s dad, and nearly misses when they pull up into a cemetery.

The turn of events shock him enough to make his usually sharp brain ask possibly the stupidest question ever, "Where are you taking me?" 

John doesn’t dignify that question with an answer, and instead parks the car in one of the many lots, before turning to look at Brian, "To meet my dad." 

They buy white roses before entering the cemetery grounds, and Brian trails after John lost as to what to do or say now that it’s obvious what is happening. He feels immensely shitty now for not asking him about his dad beforehand, even more so now that he is in a cemetery dressed in a colourful t-shirt and white bell-bottomed pants. Brian wants the earth to swallow him whole. 

They come to a stop in front of a well-kept stone, adorned with flowers of all kinds, chocolates, small gifts and even a book. Said book looks to be in bad shape, probably from the rain and exposure to sunlight, so John reaches over and grabs it before taking another book from his coat pocket. 

Brian should have known something was up when John showed up to his house, dressed entirely in black, but he had never expected this. 

Once the flowers and the book has all been set, and the small cobwebs which had started to build upon the grave were pushed aside, John kneeled in front of it and lowered his head. His long brown hair was falling down the sides of his face, covering it completely, and Brian didn’t know if it would be prudent to tuck it behind his ears. 

"Hello, dad,” he whispered, loud enough for Brian to her if he strained his ears enough, “I’m sorry I haven’t been around as much recently, but I’ve started a band, and it has sort of taken all of my spare time." 

Brian waited for a few seconds, terrified of making a wrong move of somehow offending John. He would not like to do any of those things, so he just waited for his boyfriend to resume talking. 

"Mom and Julie have been great this past few months. But you already knew that, didn’t you? Julie came down here a few weeks ago. I hope you liked the read." 

He could start to see John’s strong facade crumbling. His voice was beginning to crack, and his words were becoming mumbled, even more so than they had been before. Still, he continued talking with his dad. 

Brian was not exactly a religious person, but at that moment, he hoped that Arthur Deacon was listening to the man talking to him. Then the part in which John introduced him came, and Brian felt dizzy with nervousness. It was weird, knowing that his father’s boyfriend was not alive but still being deadly afraid of what the man might think about him, it was driving Brian mad. 

"I came here to say that—” John cleared his throat, “I told mom and Clare about our little secret. They were surprised, but nothing bad happened, just like you said it wouldn’t all of those years ago. I’m sorry I didn’t believe you, but I definitely am not sorry that I told you back then. Especially because now I get to introduce you to my boyfriend and I know that you would love him. I don’t know what I would do if that were uncertain, I’d probably wouldn’t even have a boyfriend in the first place. So thank you.”

John turned back to Brian and extended his hand towards him. Brian gladly took it and crouched right beside John. He certainly wasn’t going to talk to John’s father, mainly because he didn’t know what to say, but he would be there for him is John wanted him to be there. 

“This is Brian May. He is that respectable kind of man that you talked about me having as a boyfriend when I came out to you. He is an astrophysicist and currently working on his PhD, he is the guitarist of my band, and quite probably the love of my life." 

Brian turned to look at John at that moment, eyes wide in surprise. It’s not that they hadn’t declared their undying love for each other before, but listening to John saying it like it was the most natural, and obvious, thing in the world made something inside Brian curl up in happiness. It might have also had something to do with the fact that he was saying it in front of one of the most important people in his life. 

"Now dad, I know you will never be able to threaten my boyfriend or walk me down the aisle as we had talked, but I hope that wherever you are, you can see me be the happiest man on the planet." 

Brian didn’t notice when he had started crying, only that when he reached over to scratch his cheek, his hand came away wet. He looked at John, who in turn looked at him like he had hung the moon and the stars. It made his heart beat a thousand miles an hour, and something inside him unfurl to make room for the tremendous about of love that he felt for John at that moment. He turned back towards the grave, "Don’t worry, Arthur. I will make sure to take care of your boy." 

He couldn’t say much of anything else. It felt out of place to talk with his boyfriend’s dead father, even if John had brought him here to meet the man. However, John didn’t seem insulted by it in the slightest. Probably very aware of the fact that talking to the dead wasn’t everyone’s cup of tea. 

***

The morning after John had taken Brian to meet his dad, he felt a sort of weight lift off his shoulders. He had woken up the next morning feeling more refreshed than he had ever since he had started playing music with the boys, and it showed in the way that for the first time in what seemed like forever he hadn’t felt like death by waking up before twelve. 

He wiggled out of Brian’s embrace and walked out into the kitchen to find it alone. It wasn’t uncommon, even less because it was Saturday at eight in the morning, but John still felt like the house was abnormally quiet. He made quick work of preparing his coffee and making breakfast for himself before taking it all to their, barely there, balcony to have breakfast in peace. He watched cars pass, people walk their dogs or jog down the street, and parents taking their children to school, as he slowly ate his scrambled eggs and enjoyed the morning breeze. 

For a second, he just wished that Brian was here to share this moment with him, just like he had been there with John yesterday when they had visited his father’s grave. It wasn’t often he let himself speak with the man more than a few words, he hated crying alone in the middle of a cemetery, but with Brian it had been different, it had felt different. Almost as if his dad was there to share the moment with them rather than John talking to a piece of stone and being painfully aware that he would never be there for him again. 

The door to the balcony opened, and Brian came out rubbing his eyes and looking for John like bugs to a lamp. The younger man instantly slid his chair back and let Brian curl on his lap like a cat, arms around his neck, head tucked into the crook of his neck and legs curled around his waist. John melted into the embrace, playing with Brian’s hair as the older man willed his body and mind to wake up fully. 

"I missed you in bed,” the statement was punctuated with a small kiss on the crook of his neck. 

John hugged Brian closer to him, “Sorry, I got restless." 

”’s okay,“ he said, "as long as you are okay." 

John chuckled at his boyfriend’s sleeping response and made sure to hug him closer. Yesterday he had realised that he never had, in his 23 years of being alive and numerous relationships, been so sure about something like he was sure about Brian. Not even when he thought he was going to marry Veronica. 

"Mmm, John?" 

He pressed a kiss to Brian’s shoulder, "Yes?" 

"Thank you for taking me to meet your dad yesterday. It meant a lot." 

He felt something in his heart settle in place; like a hole finally being filled or a crooked piece being put back where it belonged. It was both a wonderful feeling and somewhat painful but confirmed with crystal clear clarity about what he felt for Brian. 

"No, thank you for going with me. It meant the world.”

They stayed like that for a few hours more, clinging to each other like koalas. John was even sure that Brian had fallen asleep at one point or another, but he wouldn’t have it any other way. Not when he was so sure this was the love of his life.


End file.
